Monday, May 31, 2010

Risqué Women are the New Revolutionaries

Madonna/Whore Complex

Why does it seem that if a woman acts sexual, "dirty," or "inappropriate," she is considered a whore? Sexism stems from a hatred or fear of women, not from the idea that men see women acting like "sluts," so they automatically objectify them in those situations. That is not how sexism starts. If anything, women should be allowed to be risque instead of being condemned for it. It has been argued over centuries how a woman should always be "proper" and "ladylike" because a man will never see anything but sex in a whore. A woman should always keep her legs closed and her shirt all-the-way buttoned because this, ladies, will keep you from being raped. The women who dress like prostitutes are asking to be taken advantage of. The actual term for this is the Madonna/ whore complex. The desirable, pure woman is the Madonna--suitable for marriage, and procreation. The other kind of woman is the whore--suitable for sex only, and destined to be considered the scum of the earth. You see, sex is for men, apparently. And these women are so detestable that men only want sex with them. Does anyone else see a problem with that? That is like saying, I hate abortion so much, I am going to work at a Planned Parenthood clinic as a doctor, performing these abortions so that I can prove a point and then tell them that they are the scum of the earth for letting me do what I just did. What kind of point does that prove besides the fact that you are a heinous hypocrite?

Too Revealing?

The funny thing is that how a woman dresses has nothing to do with rape statistics. If this was the case, then why do so many infants, children, elderly women, and even boys get raped? They aren't dressed like hookers. So how can people say that the way they dress "grabs negative attention?" If I was a man, I would be offended because that is like saying that if I see cleavage, I am not going to be able to control myself and will end up raping that woman standing over there. It is not a feasible explanation. The way women dress or act has no effect on how men treat them. Of course, many would argue this, but let's consider the reasons why I say this.

People say that if a woman dresses too revealing, men are only going to see her as a "piece of ass." Now, how many men do you know only pursue women in short skirts and low-cut tops? I have seen men hit on all kinds of women, from nuns to cashiers at 7-eleven. What they wear does not matter. Sure, they may get more of a sexual response with certain outfits as opposed to others, but the fact of the matter is that men do not try and obtain sex only from the scantily clad girls they run into. We don't look at a guy and complain that his package is showing too much because they can see a little bulge in the pants. Besides, trying to attract a mate is instinct. Female baboons will show male baboons their asses when trying to attract a mate. Those skanky baboons! Don't they know that the males are only going to want their ass? :/

Never Kiss on the First Date

Now let's take those who "kiss on the first date," (among other issues). This is a much more subtle form of associated sluttiness, but let's really think about the issue. As once said by Samantha Jones in Sex and the City, a guy can just as easily dump you on the first date or the tenth, regardless of when you have sex or any kind of intimate relations. It is better to regard the three-date rule for reasons that you want to make things interesting for your date, not because it is a "slutty" thing to do. A choice is a choice. When men have sex, they are praised in this society, but women are scorned. It cannot work both ways, because who would the men have sex with? And having sex with other men is just as risque. So, essentially, they have to have sex with the women to receive the praise, and, likewise, women have to avoid sex to receive an ounce of respect. They can't have sex and not have sex at the same time. The laws of physics prove this not to be true! So where do we draw the line? Oftentimes, it is seen that women give in to sexual advances because of their self-esteem issues or previous experiences with rape or assault. This is merely a shallow "desperation" argument to keep people from having to face the issue that these women want to have sex. Women do not need to have been raped to explain why they want it. Perhaps they want sex because they, too, have sexual desires just as much as men do. Why would there be such thing as the clitoris, which is solely for the purpose of pleasure? Then again, people combat this idea by removing it through female genital mutilation, but that's a whole other story.

Sex is an Industry

Moreover, we have the institution of pornography and prostitution. Now this is a tricky situation. The sex industry is one of many problems because of the direct objectification and defamation that goes along with it. But let's really look into this. It is true that there are some horrible acts desired in certain kinds of pornography, however, the idea of naked women in the public eye is a completely different matter. If a man was shown in a porn getting stimulated in the ass with a large vibrator, would people complain that it was objectifying him? To me, this just seems like it is making women fall into this "victim" category. And, when animals mate in public, possibly with more than one mate (much like an orgy) is this defamation of the sanctity of life? I would argue that it is not. Of course, animals are different, and humans are noted for their higher levels of thinking and reactions within personal relationships. So, I understand the sanctity of having sex with a partner with whom you feel deeply attached/connected to. However, I cannot condemn acts of sex displayed in pornography on the basis of objectification. If I was to condemn anything, it would be the pornography that is specifically geared towards objectification/rape/etc. Pornography itself is NOT, people just assume that showing sex for stimulation purposes IS. This is not to say that I do not think that porn stars have the possibility of living a sad life. Many women become porn stars because of dysfunctional family relationships and sexual abuse. When people act out in that way, it does, indeed, make me sad. But, when women (or men) on their own free will decide to be apart of the sex industry because they enjoy what they do without any motivation from a haunting past, then I praise them for doing what they want to do while facing so much criticism.

Rape Isn't Female

Where does rape fit in to all this? Well, I understand that rape and sexual assault are huge issues. However, rape has become strictly a "female" problem that further victimizes women. Anyone can be raped. So why is it that the majority are women? Rape is all about power, and women have been manipulated for so long into believing certain things about themselves that are not even true. It is easy to tell almost any woman that her self-esteem issues result from the Media. Almost any would agree. But could you just walk up to a man and tell him that he is the way he is because of what his childhood was like? Some might go with it, but others would easily be able to argue this. Why? Because men aren't constantly told that they are going to inevitably have problems because that's what men do. Females are told this, however. Therefore, they are so easily taken advantage of, without even understanding the complexities of this issue. Women are told that they can never go anywhere alone or walk on the streets late at night. All this fear just causes more chaos. Rape has nothing to do with sexual attraction or feelings. NOTHING. It is all about power and control. The people who are manipulated the most, i.e. women, minorities, gays and lesbians, disabled, and any other group that relates, are the ones who get taken advantage of the most.

Why Not Be Wild?

So, here we get back to the wild women of the west. Is it such a bad thing? If anything, the people telling us that sexism is caused from how we act are the ones who are sexist because they are defining what women should be like. If there's one thing that I know, independence is a turn on. They say that women need to be the cute, proper little housewives that depend on men to kill spiders in the shower and take them shopping every so often. But, do men actually like this? I would say that the majority of men that I have met do not. Men love a firey, wild, independent, and intelligent woman who knows what she wants and how to get it. After all, people want their space, and an independent woman is more likely to give it to men than a needy go-with-the-flow housewife. This is a good creates unpredictability in a relationship. It creates a longing to be with someone, because, well, life cannot be that easy. There needs to be some kind of dysfunction for it to even work.

“Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free til they find someone just as wild to run with them.” (Sex and the City)

No comments: